The Power of Self-Awareness

We have all worked with and listened to brilliant people. Some of them were great and… well, some were not so great. The mean and the meek and all those in between can teach us more than they realize. Great leaders are great listeners.

Along with possessing great interpersonal skills, what else do these great communicators have in common?    

They have high Self-Awareness. 

Photo by Frank Busch on Unsplash

According to Merriam-Webster Self-Awareness is an awareness of one's own personality or individuality. It is a conscious understanding of how your actions affect those around you with the ability to self -regulate and respond appropriately.

Questions to consider:

Do you overpower others in conversation? Are you wating to speak rather than truly listening to the person talking?

Do you fly off the handle when others do not agree with you? The words that you say along with your nonverbal communication all have an impact on the audience’s perception of you. Are you a good listener? Are you adept at reading a room? How well do you understand your own emotions? 

Are you generally in control?

Emotion is neither good nor bad. Ask yourself, “will my response help or hinder the situation?”  Self - management is the key.

Here are a few tips on how to improve self-awareness.

·       Observe those around you. How do people react when you are telling a story or explaining directions? Are you brief and direct or wordy and longwinded? Are listeners engaged or distracted? Try practicing conscious mindfulness and pay attention to your body. Know your preferences. For example, are you more content getting up early or staying up late? Plus, where do you hold emotions in your body?  In your hands or feet or in your face, stomach or your neck? Take note of your habits and adjust accordingly.

·       Listen to others and acknowledge what bothers you. Are there certain triggers that set you off?  If you know that certain personalities cause you distress or create conflict then you can prepare for the most appropriate response before hurting yourself or someone else. Be patient before responding or presenting your opinions.

·       Slow down and examine why you may be experiencing anger or other strong emotions. Take a deep breath. Notice your surroundings.  Do you feel cold or overheated? Are you hungry? Maybe you just need a snack. By understanding what is affecting you, you can improve your own self-control, learn to manage your emotions and contribute valuable feedback.

No matter what the situation, you can always choose how you react to it.  Be clear on what you absolutely will not compromise and what is most important to you. Admit mistakes and face the consequences, whatever they are. Are you aware of the unspoken messages you are sending and receiving? All we own is how we choose to respond.

What is your perspective?

Are you feeling particularly anxious? It is important to manage logic with emotion. Ask yourself - “What effect could my emotional reaction have on the other person in this moment and will it help me achieve my goal?” Put yourself in the other person’s “shoes.” Pay attention to their verbal responses and watch their nonverbal cues and respect their viewpoints. You don’t have to agree, but how you choose to respond can make all the difference in the outcome. “Which path will you take?”

Developing self -awareness is important for better relationships both in the workplace and at home. 

Having a good understanding of how you relate to others, you can learn to adjust your behavior for a happier and more fulfilling life.